Well here it is. Up until today, it actually hadn't hit me. I was sitting there, wondering what I was going to do today, and there it was, it is actually summer now.
Not only is it summer, but my last summer, the summer right before I leave for college. What a intimidating thing to say. This year has been great for me though. Last week at church we did an activity where we wrote how we have seen God in our lives over the last year. I wasn't really feeling into it at the time, not for anything specific, I just couldn't really decide what I wanted to say.
The thing is, I have done that all year, so I guess when there is one moment when I am supposed to look back on it all and say, "wow look what God has done for me," it has been pretty hard. It seems like way too much to write down in a mere paragraph, though ironically, that is probably what is about to happen. I just never realized how much God could change me in a simple years time. Whether it has been through new friends and relationships, or a new attitude on life, I think I can be very confident that I am not who I was this time last year.
I'm not really sure what it is. Maybe it is just me, maybe it is my group of friends, or maybe it is what happens to most people during their senior year. It has been a pretty rough change though. I finally understand how it feels. I just don't feel as well connected with everyone like I used to. I have a very small, close knit group of friends and that is about it. I am still distancing myself from them however. The people I was closest to last year simply aren't very close right now. It has been hard on me. I'm torn between whether I have distanced myself, or if I have simply changed and we just naturally grew apart.
I think I have matured very much in the past year and had many realizations about who I am or who I was. I know I still have a very long way to go, but I am excited to see where God is leading me. I thank him so much for what he has done to me and where he as put me. I might have changed, but I'm sure it was for the best. I have built strong relationships in place of some that might have grown apart, and I am working to keep those strong also.
College is ahead and who knows what lies in store for me there. Hopefully this summer I can continue to put myself to use for God. My closest friend is leaving soon and this summer will be much harder without him, but I know that God has a plan in store. I have relationships that I need to rebuild and new ones to make. For as much as I have grown this year, there is much more left to come. God, please take my hand and guide me through.
Have a blessed day.
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