Oh my God, why have you done this to me?

why

my lord, you are supposed to be my strength,

to build me up.

"You're tearing me down" I shout,

but you are patient and gentle with me.



I run and try to escape you.

I am angry and hurt.

I don't see why you would ever put me through this.

I get it,

only part of it,

I see why it must happen,

but like this?

My God, why like this?

I scream and I cry;

I am angry at you and I doubt.

"If you loved me then why must it be like this?"



I drive,

drive and I drive.

Then,

I know it. I see it.

Right in front of me.

You did it for me.

For us.

You are showing me how it has to be,

just you and me.

There it is, I asked you to show me,

and there it is.

I know it is your answer.

I have no doubt.

Where else could it have come from, so obvious and easy.

You love me and want me.

I was getting distracted;

loosing sight of you,

and you pulled me back in.

You showed me that you are all I need.

I had lost my focus and you showed me the way.



That wasn't it though,

Lord,

that wasn't it.

You used this for more than just that.

Even after I thought I had it all figured out,

you corrected me again.

Like a child,

almost there, but still struggling.

How could I think that was it?

How dare I be so selfish?

Oh no, it isn't all about me,

i'm only a tool.

My feeble mind cannot comprehend

you.

All I see are glimpses

and

I hope I am getting it.

this is just as much a lesson for them also.



You speak to

me

and tell me that

you are God.

I am learning

you have powers beyond my belief.

I am learning

to trust.

My God,

you have a plan.

Take me and use me as you will.

Show me how to fall back on you.

I want to be

yours.